Give Me a Reason to Believe

[geenoway]

Title: Give Me a Reason to Believe
Author: vamplover82
Pairing: Gerard Way/Frank Iero
Rating: PG
POV: Third, although focus varies
Summary: Gerard has a secret.
Disclaimer: I own none of these people. Presumably they own themselves (or maybe each other).
Author notes: ***italics*** = flashback



Sometimes he didn’t know how he could possibly stand it. Being in his skin was just too much. And being in his head was even worse, his thoughts constantly turning to the more depressing aspects of his life.

Particularly that one. The one secret he was sure no one knew about, not even Mikey. No matter how close they were, Gerard just knew he would never understand. You see, Gerard was 23 years old and he had never kissed anyone.

This was the thought that haunted him whenever he had a spare moment just to think. In all honesty, he didn’t really know how it had happened. He’d been on dates before, although admittedly not many. They just never really turned into anything more. Getting dates also hadn’t really been helped by the fact that he was gay.

Back when Gerard was younger, and still in high school, it hadn’t seemed like such a big deal. He didn’t have many friends, and they just hadn’t really talked about things like that.

It wasn’t until he started college that Gerard had really begun to think about it. By then, of course, he was barely still a teenager, he knew people who were getting engaged, and he’d even seen Mikey kissing some girl from school.

And so he didn’t really know how to tell anyone, but with each passing year, his secret seemed to weigh more heavily on his heart. Gerard’s situation was in no way helped by is most recent crush.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Mikey had come home with the most gorgeous guy Gerard had ever seen in tow. His name was Frank.

***

“Hey Mikey, I was thinking…” Gerard started, heading toward the front door when he heard it open. He trailed off, staring at the guy standing behind Mikey.

“Gee?” Mikey said, by that time standing in front of Gerard and waving his hand in front of Gerard’s face. At that, Gerard snapped out of his staring.

“You were saying?”

“Oh, uh…never mind,” Gerard mumbled.

“Whatever,” Mikey said, heading for the living room.

“Oh yeah, this is Frank. Frank, that’s my brother, Gerard.”

“Nice to meet you.” Frank smiled at Gerard, extending his hand.

“Same here.” Gerard shook it gingerly, blushing.

He abruptly let go and headed after Mikey into the living room, sitting in the only chair, leaving Frank to sit on the couch with Mikey. He sat there, eyes trained on the television, pretending to be engrossed in whatever show Mikey had on.

***

Although Gerard hadn’t talked a lot to Frank since then, he had hung around with them when Frank was over, learning what he could by listening to their conversation.

He had managed to discover that he and Frank had similar tastes in music and movies. Armed with this knowledge, Gerard was gradually able to talk to Frank without feeling like a complete idiot.








After a few weeks of having Frank over, Mikey had finally begun to see the way his brother looked at Frank. Gerard gave away very little with his face, but Mikey could see the longing in his eyes.

One day after Frank had gone home, Mikey decided he was fed up with the situation and confronted Gerard about Frank.

“You like him, don’t you?”

Gerard whipped his head around to face Mikey, looking startled. “What?” he asked, trying to play innocent.

Mikey was having none of it.

“You like Frank. I can tell by the way you look at him.”

Gerard looked away, blushing.

“You don’t think he could tell, do you?”

“Nah.” Mikey batted his hand vaguely.

“Can guys ever tell things like that?” he laughed. “You’d practically have to whack him over the head with it.”

Gerard smiled, relieved. “Yeah, you’re not wrong about that.”

“But you know,” Mikey said, smiling slightly and looking at Gerard out of the corner of his eye, “maybe you should go for it. Frankie’s single after all.”

Gerard looked alarmed at the prospect.

“Mikey, you know I’m terrible at that. I stutter and blush and just generally make myself look like an idiot.”

“Alright, suit yourself, but I think he’d go out with you.”

**********

Frank had first met Mikey at some party he’d been at. Well, he was pretty sure anyway. All he knew was that sometime a few weeks ago, he had started to see Mikey everywhere he went. They ran into each other at almost every club or bar Frank went to.

This, of course, was explained once they had started talking to each other. Their taste in music was eerily similar. By the third time they’d met accidentally, they were practically old friends. And then Mikey had asked Frank to hang out at his place.

Initially upon meeting Gerard, Frank hadn’t really thought about him much. He seemed nice and was fairly attractive, but he was also awfully quiet.

Frank’s opinion had slowly changed, however, the more Gerard opened up. They seemed to have a lot of things in common, not to mention that Gerard had a wicked sense of humor and always seemed to be able to make Frank laugh.

Frank didn’t know quite when it had happened, but one day he was looking at Gerard and laughing at some joke Gerard had just made when he realized just how attractive Gerard was.

The thought caught him off-guard; Gerard wasn’t really his type. No matter how hard he tried though, Frank could not get that thought out of his head.

Normally, Frank wasn’t one to shy away from asking someone out, but he wanted to be cautious so as not to jeopardize his friendships with either Gerard or Mikey.








Frank had finally decided to get Mikey’s opinion about asking Gerard out when Mikey rendered his decision unnecessary.

“Frank, do you like my brother?”

“Of course I do. He’s awesome and really funny.” Frank said, looking quizzically at Mikey.

“No, I mean, like…would you date him?”

Frank blushed. “Um, well…”

Mikey laughed. “I knew it! You totally need to ask him out.”

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna screw up our friendship.”

“Trust me Frankie, you won’t mess anything up.”









Gerard was having a crappy day. Not necessarily because of anything in particular, just that a lot of little things had been building up ever since he got out of bed and realized there was no more milk for breakfast that morning.

And days like that usually meant a lot of thinking. About things he’d rather not think about.

You’re such a loser. What 23-year-old has never kissed anyone?

Frank certainly wouldn’t want to kiss someone like you.

And even if he did, you wouldn’t know what to do.

You’d be terrible and he’d hate it and he’d probably never speak to you again.

Gerard shook his head, trying to clear away the depressing thoughts. Before long, the phone rang, bringing Gerard out of his thoughts. He shook his head, disgusted that he’d been just sitting there with his thoughts for the last hour, and picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Gerard?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“Frank.”

“Oh, hey Frank.” Butterflies erupted in Gerard’s stomach. “What’s up?”

“Well, there’s this horror flick playing at the movie theater tomorrow night, and I was wondering if you wanted to see it with me.”

“Yeah sure, that’d be cool.” Gerard smiled to himself.

“Awesome. The movie starts at 8, so I was thinking I could meet you at your place and we could walk over from there.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yep, see ya.” Gerard hung up the phone, grinning.

**********

By six o’clock, Gerard had changed clothes five times. Normally he wouldn’t trouble with what he was wearing, but since he knew he was seeing Frank, he wanted to look his best.

Finally, he decided on his original outfit, black jeans and a dark green t-shirt he’d once been told made his eyes look green. He wandered out to the living room, turning on the television to distract himself and keep from pacing.

Eventually, the doorbell rang, making Gerard jump. He grabbed his keys and jacket before going to the door.

“Ready to go?” Frank asked when Gerard answered the door.

“Yeah.” Gerard said, locking the door behind him.









The walk to the movie theater was short since it was only a few blocks away. Gerard and Frank chatted amicably on the walk over, stopping once they got to the ticket counter.

“Oh, shit. What are we seeing?” Frank asked, turning to look at Gerard.

“Black Christmas.”

“Oh, yeah. Two for Black Christmas.” Frank said, paying for both of their tickets.

Gerard thought that was kind of weird but let it pass without comment.

“You wanna get snacks or something?” Frank asked.

Gerard nodded. “I could go for something to drink.”

They got in line, ordering drinks when they finally reached the front of the line. Frank paid again, which made Gerard nervous.

Is this a date?

That made him really nervous, so Gerard was fairly quiet as they walked to their theater and found seats near the back. The movie started almost as soon as they sat down, leaving Gerard with no time to ponder whether or not he was actually on a date with Frank.

Gerard was mostly able to pay attention to the movie for the first half hour, only occasionally glancing at Frank out of the corner of his eye.

If it is a date, maybe he’ll hold my hand if I give him the chance.

With that thought, Gerard put his right hand on his thigh, palm up, and stared resolutely at the screen. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes later when Gerard felt a hand clasp his, linking their fingers together. He nearly jumped, just barely restraining himself.

Gerard gave up watching the movie as a lost cause, concentrating on the feel of Frank’s hand in his. Before he knew it, the movie was over and all he’d done was stare at the screen with a huge grin on his face. As they got up to leave, Frank let go of Gerard’s hand, somewhat dimming Gerard’s smile.

They walked back to Gerard’s place quickly, Frank talking about how lame the movie was the whole way. Gerard had little to contribute since he couldn’t remember most of the movie.








When they reached Gerard’s apartment, Frank stopped talking and they stared at each other.

“I had fun.” Gerard said, looking away and blushing, knowing he sounded like a walking cliché.

“Me, too.” Frank said, smiling and stepping closer to Gerard. Gerard looked up.

They were standing toe to toe, and as Frank leaned forward, Gerard took a step back. Frank looked down, blushing. “Sorry.”

He started to back away, when Gerard grabbed his arm.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s just…well…” Frank was staring at Gerard.

“Could you maybe not look at me while I say this? It’s kind of embarrassing.”

Frank cocked an eyebrow, but obligingly turned his head so he wasn’t looking at Gerard.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” Gerard whispered.

It was clear, however, that Frank had heard him. His head whipped around and his jaw dropped as he once again looked at Gerard.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Gerard knew he had to be as red as a tomato by this time.

“Well,” Frank said, stepping into Gerard’s space once again, “we’ll just have to remedy that then, won’t we?”

Frank cupped Gerard’s jaw, pulling him down slightly as Frank leaned up, and their lips met softly. Frank opened his mouth and ran his tongue along Gerard’s lower lip before pulling away.

“Was it ok?” Gerard asked. He thought it had been wonderful but was nervous about his own kissing ability.

“It was perfect.” Frank said, smiling.

Gerard blushed. At that moment, he knew everything would work out just fine.



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