Hannah Montana, Matchmaker Extraordinaire

[geenoway]

Title: Hannah Montana, Matchmaker Extraordinaire
Author: smallearthcat
Pairing: none
Rating: PG
Summary: Danny catches Steve in an embarrassing moment.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Hawaii Five-0, and this certainly isn’t true.
Author notes: Comments and con. crit. are much appreciated. Written for wook77 for not_primetime.



Danny walks into Steve's house – without knocking, because that's what he does – only to hear a familiar tune coming from the living room. It's actually a little bit unbelievable, what he's hearing, because sure, Steve has abominable taste in music, but it's not quite that bad, that Steve would be listening to Hanna Montana voluntarily. Clearly, investigation is necessary.

Seeing as the song's still playing, Steve probably didn't hear him come in, which means he has the advantage here. He moves as quietly as possible, inching toward the living room and hoping to catch Steve unawares, and for once, Steve doesn't display freaky powers of perception and notice he's there. Danny rounds the corner quietly, and it's so much better than this just being a song on the radio; it's better, even, than the show being on TV in the background while Steve does something else. No, Steve is sitting on the sofa, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, intent like he thinks there might be a test on it later.

Danny stifles a laugh, because it wouldn't do to give himself away yet, not when he's been handed such pure gold on a silver platter. And then Steve laughs, at some terrible joke they've just made onscreen, and Danny finds he couldn't hold back anymore, even if he wanted to.

"Oh my God, babe, do you actually like this movie?"

Steve shoots straight off the couch, hand fumbling at his hip for the gun that's not there, seeing as it's the weekend and he's in his own house, taking it easy for once. He frowns when he processes the fact that it's Danny in his house, but he also stands down, which is the important part. He looks like he's trying to figure out what he wants to say, only then the laugh track sounds on the movie, and he's suddenly tense again. Steve moves faster than Danny's seen outside of life or death situations, snatching up the remote and turning off the television.

Danny's grinning by the time Steve turns back to him, and Danny is filled with an unholy sense of glee when he realizes that Steve's cheeks are flushing red, even as he's very obviously trying to seem like everything's normal. "I was just, uh, flipping channels, and..."

It's the most patently ridiculous thing Danny's heard Steve say in awhile, and that includes the other day, when he'd tried to convince Danny that sand was somehow fun, rather than one of the messiest substances in the known universe. "Oh, babe."

"What? I was!" Steve crosses his arms, defensive and trying not to look it.

"Right, and that's why I stood here watching you for five minutes and you didn't even touch the remote. Not to mention that it's still clearly playing." Danny gestures toward the DVD player, where the numbers are still increasing.

Steve stops it quickly and when he turns back toward Danny, he's got his 'Plausible Deniability' face on, only he can't seem to come up with anything else, not now that Danny's so thoroughly blown his first explanation out of the water. After a minute, his lower lip extends just a little bit, and dear God, the man's pouting. "Grace was talking about it last time she was over here, and I thought maybe we'd have something to talk about if I saw it."

It's a passable explanation, and Danny would like to believe it, might even have done so if he hadn't at that moment seen the DVD case sitting on the coffee table. It's not a rental, and it's certainly not as new as Steve's trying to claim, not being as beat up as it is.

"You need to learn to lie more convincingly. Just look at that case, Steven." Danny flaps his hand in its general direction. "That is not a rental case, you didn't just buy it, and you don't know anyone other than me who has a little girl that might own it."

"I could have bought it used."

"Did you?"

Steve is silent for a second, and Danny just knows he's calculating odds on whether a yes will fly or not. In the end, he lets out a sulky, "No."

"Do you like this movie, Steven? Do you enjoy watching Hannah Montana have wacky adventures and sing crappy pop songs? My God, your taste in music is even worse than Grace's. At least she likes some of the classics in with her pop, which is more than I can say for you."

Steve is trying not to smile, and oh yes, Danny has Steve right where he wants him; he is going to get the truth out of Steve one way or another. "Was there an actual question in there, or were you just doing the usual and using every insult you could think of? And hey, at least I don't think Bon Jovi is the height of musical talent."

Danny is tempted, oh so tempted, to begin this argument again, because Steve does not get to insult Jersey like that, but doing so might distract him enough to forget the whole Hanna Montana movie thing. "And that, my friend, is your loss. Now, this movie. Explain."

Steve's suddenly got a mulish set to his mouth, and Danny figures that okay, maybe Steve's not gonna give it up, and he'll just have to take what he has, maybe threaten to tell Chin and Kono when Steve does something really stupid. But then Steve sighs and lets his arms drop back to his sides.

"I watched the show with Gracie a few times, you know, and she liked it so much that I figure, what'll it hurt if I watch a few episodes on my own, so we have something to talk about." Danny's kind of surprised; he hadn't realized that part of Steve's story was actually true. "And I maybe got a little hooked. She's got some catchy tunes."

Steve looks anywhere but directly at Danny, apparently not wanting to see his reaction. Danny is torn between making fun of Steve for liking something so ridiculous and being kind of touched that Steve was trying to find a way to be closer to his little girl, and he's just about to settle on making fun of Steve when he remembers something that happened the previous weekend.

He and Grace had been staying with Steve, because Danny still hasn't found an apartment and is mostly couch-surfing until he does, which makes Steve's house pretty much the only place he can comfortably go when he has Grace with him. And Danny had just finished getting ready for bed, all set to check on Grace one more time before hitting the couch, when he'd been brought up short by the sound of Steve's laughter accompanied by Grace's giggles.

He'd had no idea what they were laughing about but also hadn't wanted to interrupt his two favorite people clearly bonding over something. "Wait, is that what you and Grace were giggling about last Saturday? You were talking about Hannah Montana?"

"You heard that?"

"Not what you were talking about, obviously, but yeah. It was nice seeing the two of you bonding over something, even if you would make it something like Hannah Montana."

"She's not that bad, and neither is the show."

"She's a secret popstar who sings about being a secret popstar."

"It's clever."

"It's ridiculous."

"Says the man who watches Enemy Mine at least once a month."

"That movie is a classic. Hannah Montana is mass-produced pop made to appeal to children."

"Why exactly are we arguing about this, again?"

Danny opens his mouth and pauses, because really, Steve actually does have a point there. "You know what? Why don't we just agree to disagree about our respective tastes in movies, and next time Gracie wants to watch Hannah Montana, I'll be sure to bring her over here."

It's weird, how absolutely stunned Steve looks, when Danny isn't even really sure why. "You'd uh...you'd really want to bring her over here just so we could watch TV together?"

"Sure, why not? It's not like we're not over here all the time, anyway, and being able to make fun of you would lessen the pain of having to watch it for the fiftieth time." Danny looks over, and Steve is biting his lip, obviously trying not to fidget. "What? What is that look?"

"Nothing, Danno. I just like it when you bring her over here, that's all."

"Do not try to pull that crap with me, McGarrett. You want to say something, then say it. Contrary to popular belief, I do actually know how to pause and listen to someone."

And then he waits. And waits. And waits a little bit longer. He's just about to say something – because really, he's not good with awkward silences – when Steve finally speaks up. "I want you to move in with me."

That is not at all what Danny expected to hear. "You want me to what?"

"Move in with me, Danny. You've spent too long looking for a place of your own and moving around when there's no reason for it. You stay here more than half the time already, and I've got more space than I need just for myself."

"Steve, I can't just stay here forever. Sooner or later, you'll find someone, or I'll find someone, and then what?"

"I'm not going to find someone."

"Excuse me? Have you forgotten about Catherine that quickly?"

"She's not the one for me, Danny. And I know you don't believe it, but she never was, especially not since-" Steve clams up suddenly, dropping down on the couch and letting his head fall back so he's looking at the ceiling. "Not since I met you."

Danny drops down onto the couch himself, because what? How is this his life? That it sounds like Steve's saying...but no, that's probably just him reading something into it. "Steve?" It comes out far quieter than he means it to, far less sure.

"Because I fell for you." Steve sounds just as unsure of himself, but Danny's almost certain it's because of the situation, not the feelings.

"And now you want me to move in with you."

Steve's up and staring before Danny even realizes he's moved. "Not because of that, and not because I expect anything to happen. Because you're my best friend, and I want you here for however long you want to stay."

And the thing is that Danny believes him, believes that Steve will always want him around, no matter what, which makes it far easier than he'd have guess it would be to say, "Yes, okay, I'll move in with you."

Steve keeps staring for a long minute, as if that wasn't at all what he expected to hear and he has no idea how to react. "Really?"

Danny's lips tug up at the corner a little bit, and he nods. "I need to get a few boxes out of storage, and I'm taking over your old room."

"Obviously. I don't know why you didn't just start sleeping there in the first place."

Right now, Danny isn't sure either, just that he maybe had some vague notions about not getting too settled anywhere when he was sure he'd find his own place any day. "I don't know either, babe."

Steve just shrugs, but he's still got a weird look on his face, sort of like his 'I Just Got Shot But Don't Want To Worry You By Mentioning It' face, but taken down a couple notches. In this case, Danny knows exactly what it's about, but that doesn't help him much because he still has to actually respond somehow to Steve's grand declaration of love. The real problem isn't that he doesn't feel anything for Steve, because he does, and he could see them falling into it pretty fucking easily; no, it's that he can also see them falling out of it pretty easily if Steve doesn't learn to open up more or if Danny can't get over his bitterness about Rachel enough to trust Steve with his heart.

"Alright, look. I'm not...in love with you or anything." If Danny didn't know Steve so well, he'd have missed the way Steve's face falls at his words. "But I could be, I think, if we gave it a chance."

Steve's all the way to grinning practically in the blink of an eye. He pulls Danny into a quick, sloppy kiss, like he's not really sure it's okay. Danny wants to grab on and keep Steve there longer, but Steve's already pulling away before he gets the chance. "So, we gonna go get your stuff?"

"What, now?"

"No time like the present."

That's Steve for you, though, always wanting to get things done immediately, but in this case, Danny kind of agrees; the sooner he has his own bed again, the better. Steve plucks the keys to the Camaro out of Danny's pocket without so much as a by-your-leave, and Danny would be more annoyed by the presumption if that small touch hadn't just resulted in a full-body shiver. If Steve notices, he doesn't say anything, swinging Danny's keys around his finger as he heads toward the front door.

Moving in together is going to turn out to be terrible for Danny's sanity, he can tell already. Then again, "Don't think I've forgotten about your mad love for Hannah Montana just because you professed your mad love for me! That will never not be amusing, Steven, and I'm going to make sure everyone you know hears about it. Steve!"

"Come on, Danny, time's wasting!" Steve calls, ignoring him.

Maybe they will drive each other crazy, but it'll be one hell of a ride in the meantime.